This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
