I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
