I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
