Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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