just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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