Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
