I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
