So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
