the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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