maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
