Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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