she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
