I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
