Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
