youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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