that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
