Walk of Shame. In a state park.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
