Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
