The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
