I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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