we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
A+ Viking dick
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
