so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
