i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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