What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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