singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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