Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
only you would photoshop your dick
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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