Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
