Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
