We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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