I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
