I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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