Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
