glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he shaved USA in his pubs
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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