I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
