what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
