note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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