Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
