my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the condom got lost in my hair
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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