haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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