going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
