I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
