Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize