I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
