My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
