so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
