Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm really busy with my period
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