I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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