We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
why is half of my head shaved?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
