see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
