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• (916): View more from California

  is it cool if i come over and use your computer?

  (1-916): View more from California

  what happened to yours?

  (916): View more from California

  i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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• (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Already at 3 and it's not even noon.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

  (315): View more from New York

  That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.

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• (516): View more from New York

  and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese

  (1-516): View more from New York

  please tell me you didnt taste test that

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.

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