i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
worst night to have a conscience
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
