also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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