If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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