I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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