ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
