so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
