Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
