the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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