Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
